ONE.

[failhound]

• AUDIO •

[--THUD]

[... after what sounds like the crashlanding of the century, there are a few loud bumps agains the mic; what sounds uncannily like a confused chicken; and finally everything unmuffles as whatever was on the communicator moves off]

O-Ow! What the hell was I-- Hey, what is this? This isn't the cellphone! Where's my freakin'--

[rattle rattle rattle smack]

[BANG BANG BANG BANG]

COUGH IT UP, YOU PIECE OF JUNK! I ACTUALLY NEED THAT THING SOMETIMES!

[...]

All right. Have it your way.

[an intake of breath]

HEY, UGLY! YOU DISGUSTING, HORRIBLE, NO-GOOD, BANANAS-FOR-BRAINS OLD HAG!!

[pant pant]

I BET THIS IS YOU AGAIN, ISN'T IT?! THE HELL DID YOU DO THIS TIME?!? I DON'T EVEN-- [a pause] ... THIS ISN'T THE DEMON WORLD!

[another pause] So... it's the human world, right? With their dumb sun and everything. But I was just there -- hey, ugly, you better explain! I don't know that many places in the human world, you know!

[...]

... Ugly? [BANG] Hey, is this thing even working? HEY--

[click!]

• VIDEO •

[have an extreme closeup of one red eye peering suspiciously in general direction of the camera]

[a long moment later, the image tilts wildly as he lets it fall carelessly to the ground]

Useless thing! What am I supposed to--

[/transmission cut]

Comments

[ video ]

[evaluative.livejournal.com]

[ why so loud :| ]

It works just as well without you yelling.

[vidyaaa]

[failhound.livejournal.com]

[BECAUSE IT GETS RESULTS]

Hmph! No, it doesn't! If I don't yell, Her Ugliness'd just brush me off!

And you're not her or the other guy. You don't live in the box too, do you?

[vidyaaa]

[evaluative.livejournal.com]

[ it gets you people being unhappy. quietly: ]

Yes, it is rather difficult to ignore.

[ and then at a more normal volume. ]

If you are asking me if I live in this device, I do not.

[video]

[failhound.livejournal.com]

[HE DOESN'T CARE he just wants to get out of here]

[smugly] Yeah, exactly! So if she's where you are, you'd better put her on!

[... he's still not sure if this is some kind of cellphone, a mysterious magical box, or both]

[video]

[evaluative.livejournal.com]

[ don't we all, angry person. don't we all. ]

I'm afraid I don't know who you are referring to.

[video]

[failhound.livejournal.com]

[yeah well he's louder about it, louder is superior]

Satan! The Dark Liege, Queen of Hell, ruler of the demon world? Annoying three-eyes or pervert blondie, depends on the day.

[video]

[evaluative.livejournal.com]

[ in volume, clearly. ]

The demon world?

No, I don't believe I'm familiar with your...acquaintance.

[video]

[failhound.livejournal.com]

[IN VOLUME AND EFFECTIVENESS!]

That's what I said.

So if you don't work for her, and you're not a box-guy, then... you're just a human or something.

[video]

[evaluative.livejournal.com]

[ oh, my bad. ]

"Just a human." If that is what you prefer to believe.

[ sounds somewhat amused, though there is a hint of looking down on him juuuuuust a little. ]

[video]

[failhound.livejournal.com]

... What's that supposed to mean? [yeah, he's got a special ear for condescension]

You're definitely not a demon if you don't know Her Ugliness.

[video]

[evaluative.livejournal.com]

[ then we'll get along juuuust fine. ]

Nothing in particular. Though that is correct, I am not a demon.

[video]

[failhound.livejournal.com]

[if by get along you mean like cats and dogs--]

Well, if you're not a demon, and you're not a human, then what are you supposed to be? A plant?

[video]

[evaluative.livejournal.com]

[ pretty much! also, laughing quietly. ]

Well, saying that I am "just a human" would be incorrect-- I am quite different from the average raw materials.

[video]

[failhound.livejournal.com]

'Tch.

A human's a human a human! --I know there's a bunch of different kinds, but they're still just humans even if you call 'em something else.

[video]

[evaluative.livejournal.com]

Is that what you think? What a narrow view.

[video]

[failhound.livejournal.com]

How's it narrow? I'm calling it what it is!

[video]

[evaluative.livejournal.com]

Just as there are different types of those called "humans," there are some that have, in a sense, surpassed such a title, as well as those who are...not worthy of that name. Yet one would consider them to be "just humans," which is incorrect.

[video]

[failhound.livejournal.com]

[...]

[he won't argue that humans are things that can be absolutely neatly boxed]

[but]

So, you're a human who thinks you're better than other humans, huh? [snort] That's rich.

[video]

[evaluative.livejournal.com]

It is the truth.

[video]

[failhound.livejournal.com]

... Prove it.

[video]

[evaluative.livejournal.com]

As of now, I am unable to do such a thing.

[ and does not sound very happy about it. ]

[video]

[failhound.livejournal.com]

[... HAHAHA his turn to laugh at you]

That's what I thought.

[video]

[evaluative.livejournal.com]

[ :| forever. ]

Oh? And how is it that you were able to know that this would be the case?

[video]

[failhound.livejournal.com]

[what goes around comes around, baby]

I know plenty of bastards who just like to talk big.

[video]

[evaluative.livejournal.com]

[ man when he gets his chip out he will........be able to heal. and basically that's about it. ]

Even though I can provide no proof in that way, what you seem believe is not the case. If one sets aside the barriers that the scientists have placed in our way, there are still vast differences between myself and other human raw materials.