ONE.

[failhound]

• AUDIO •

[--THUD]

[... after what sounds like the crashlanding of the century, there are a few loud bumps agains the mic; what sounds uncannily like a confused chicken; and finally everything unmuffles as whatever was on the communicator moves off]

O-Ow! What the hell was I-- Hey, what is this? This isn't the cellphone! Where's my freakin'--

[rattle rattle rattle smack]

[BANG BANG BANG BANG]

COUGH IT UP, YOU PIECE OF JUNK! I ACTUALLY NEED THAT THING SOMETIMES!

[...]

All right. Have it your way.

[an intake of breath]

HEY, UGLY! YOU DISGUSTING, HORRIBLE, NO-GOOD, BANANAS-FOR-BRAINS OLD HAG!!

[pant pant]

I BET THIS IS YOU AGAIN, ISN'T IT?! THE HELL DID YOU DO THIS TIME?!? I DON'T EVEN-- [a pause] ... THIS ISN'T THE DEMON WORLD!

[another pause] So... it's the human world, right? With their dumb sun and everything. But I was just there -- hey, ugly, you better explain! I don't know that many places in the human world, you know!

[...]

... Ugly? [BANG] Hey, is this thing even working? HEY--

[click!]

• VIDEO •

[have an extreme closeup of one red eye peering suspiciously in general direction of the camera]

[a long moment later, the image tilts wildly as he lets it fall carelessly to the ground]

Useless thing! What am I supposed to--

[/transmission cut]

Comments

[video]

[shvibz.livejournal.com]

Of course they do. [ except not, hurr ] Say, what's your name?

[video]

[failhound.livejournal.com]

I'm Cerberus, but I guess you wouldn't know much about that either, huh?

[video]

[shvibz.livejournal.com]

I think my tutors had me read a story like that once.

[video]

[failhound.livejournal.com]

Yeah, well, they do write legends about us and everything.

[...]

... Just call me Nora. Whatever.

[video]

[shvibz.livejournal.com]

All right, then. At least it's easier to spell than Cerberus!

And my name is Anastasia.

[video]

[failhound.livejournal.com]

'Tch.

You're from... Siberia, you said? What is that? Is it here?

[video]

[shvibz.livejournal.com]

Oh, I'm not from there (thank goodness, it's terribly cold there). But it is a part of the country that I'm from, which is Russia.

[video]

[failhound.livejournal.com]

Russia...?

[WAT ARE HUMAN GEOGRAPHY]

Doesn't sound like here.

[video]

[shvibz.livejournal.com]

And here doesn't even sound like Earth. Apparently there are - what was it? - two moons in this world instead of just one!

[video]

[failhound.livejournal.com]

Two moons? [...] Guess that rules out the human world, at least.

How many suns?

[video]

[shvibz.livejournal.com]

I think there's just one. But the clouds make it hard to tell.

[video]

[failhound.livejournal.com]

[... well where he comes from you can't pick and choose your suns and moons]

Seems like there really is a third world.

But if it's not human or demon...

[video]

[shvibz.livejournal.com]

What's a third world?

[video]

[failhound.livejournal.com]

[^ giving you this look]

... We've got two. It's the third one.

[video]

[shvibz.livejournal.com]

You said one is a human world and the other one is a demon world, didn't you? Then that makes this one … [ actually she has no idea ]

[video]

[failhound.livejournal.com]

Yeah. Exactly. [clueless hi5]