failhound | ONE.

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ONE.

• AUDIO •

[--THUD]

[... after what sounds like the crashlanding of the century, there are a few loud bumps agains the mic; what sounds uncannily like a confused chicken; and finally everything unmuffles as whatever was on the communicator moves off]

O-Ow! What the hell was I-- Hey, what is this? This isn't the cellphone! Where's my freakin'--

[rattle rattle rattle smack]

[BANG BANG BANG BANG]

COUGH IT UP, YOU PIECE OF JUNK! I ACTUALLY NEED THAT THING SOMETIMES!

[...]

All right. Have it your way.

[an intake of breath]

HEY, UGLY! YOU DISGUSTING, HORRIBLE, NO-GOOD, BANANAS-FOR-BRAINS OLD HAG!!

[pant pant]

I BET THIS IS YOU AGAIN, ISN'T IT?! THE HELL DID YOU DO THIS TIME?!? I DON'T EVEN-- [a pause] ... THIS ISN'T THE DEMON WORLD!

[another pause] So... it's the human world, right? With their dumb sun and everything. But I was just there -- hey, ugly, you better explain! I don't know that many places in the human world, you know!

[...]

... Ugly? [BANG] Hey, is this thing even working? HEY--

[click!]

• VIDEO •

[have an extreme closeup of one red eye peering suspiciously in general direction of the camera]

[a long moment later, the image tilts wildly as he lets it fall carelessly to the ground]

Useless thing! What am I supposed to--

[/transmission cut]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[ don't we all, angry person. don't we all. ]

I'm afraid I don't know who you are referring to.

[yeah well he's louder about it, louder is superior]

Satan! The Dark Liege, Queen of Hell, ruler of the demon world? Annoying three-eyes or pervert blondie, depends on the day.

[ in volume, clearly. ]

The demon world?

No, I don't believe I'm familiar with your...acquaintance.

[IN VOLUME AND EFFECTIVENESS!]

That's what I said.

So if you don't work for her, and you're not a box-guy, then... you're just a human or something.

[ oh, my bad. ]

"Just a human." If that is what you prefer to believe.

[ sounds somewhat amused, though there is a hint of looking down on him juuuuuust a little. ]

... What's that supposed to mean? [yeah, he's got a special ear for condescension]

You're definitely not a demon if you don't know Her Ugliness.

[ then we'll get along juuuust fine. ]

Nothing in particular. Though that is correct, I am not a demon.

[if by get along you mean like cats and dogs--]

Well, if you're not a demon, and you're not a human, then what are you supposed to be? A plant?

[ pretty much! also, laughing quietly. ]

Well, saying that I am "just a human" would be incorrect-- I am quite different from the average raw materials.

'Tch.

A human's a human a human! --I know there's a bunch of different kinds, but they're still just humans even if you call 'em something else.

Is that what you think? What a narrow view.

How's it narrow? I'm calling it what it is!

Just as there are different types of those called "humans," there are some that have, in a sense, surpassed such a title, as well as those who are...not worthy of that name. Yet one would consider them to be "just humans," which is incorrect.

[...]

[he won't argue that humans are things that can be absolutely neatly boxed]

[but]

So, you're a human who thinks you're better than other humans, huh? [snort] That's rich.

It is the truth.

... Prove it.

As of now, I am unable to do such a thing.

[ and does not sound very happy about it. ]

[... HAHAHA his turn to laugh at you]

That's what I thought.

[ :| forever. ]

Oh? And how is it that you were able to know that this would be the case?

[what goes around comes around, baby]

I know plenty of bastards who just like to talk big.

[ man when he gets his chip out he will........be able to heal. and basically that's about it. ]

Even though I can provide no proof in that way, what you seem believe is not the case. If one sets aside the barriers that the scientists have placed in our way, there are still vast differences between myself and other human raw materials.

[lmfao regenerating opponents are a pain in the ASS also this guy can't use healing spells at all]

... Scientists? Raw materials?

What are you talking about now?

[ yeah, that would be kind of annoying to deal with. ]

Ah, it seems that I've confused you, my apologies.

If no one has informed you of this yet, you have been brought here by a group of "scientists," though their reasons for doing so are unknown. They also have a way to insure that those with power...beyond that of the "average" human are unable to use such power. Which is why, as I told you, providing any kind of proof is currently unlikely.

These "raw materials," however...are simply those normally referred to as "humans."

Hmph. So what that guy kept saying about sci-fi was true?

[well, mostly]

My... powers are--

[offscreen, there's a brief rustling, and then the distinct hiss and chink of sliding metal accompanied by an odd crackling]

[...]

'Tch, bet you don't have proof for what you're talking about, either. And raw materials this, raw materials that -- what for?

[ yeah, he figured that was going to happen. ]

It seems to be the case for the time being, but soon, I will have proof.

I use that term because it is, simply, all they are. They are useful as research subjects, but are not worth considering "human."

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