failhound | ONE.

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Entry tags:

ONE.

• AUDIO •

[--THUD]

[... after what sounds like the crashlanding of the century, there are a few loud bumps agains the mic; what sounds uncannily like a confused chicken; and finally everything unmuffles as whatever was on the communicator moves off]

O-Ow! What the hell was I-- Hey, what is this? This isn't the cellphone! Where's my freakin'--

[rattle rattle rattle smack]

[BANG BANG BANG BANG]

COUGH IT UP, YOU PIECE OF JUNK! I ACTUALLY NEED THAT THING SOMETIMES!

[...]

All right. Have it your way.

[an intake of breath]

HEY, UGLY! YOU DISGUSTING, HORRIBLE, NO-GOOD, BANANAS-FOR-BRAINS OLD HAG!!

[pant pant]

I BET THIS IS YOU AGAIN, ISN'T IT?! THE HELL DID YOU DO THIS TIME?!? I DON'T EVEN-- [a pause] ... THIS ISN'T THE DEMON WORLD!

[another pause] So... it's the human world, right? With their dumb sun and everything. But I was just there -- hey, ugly, you better explain! I don't know that many places in the human world, you know!

[...]

... Ugly? [BANG] Hey, is this thing even working? HEY--

[click!]

• VIDEO •

[have an extreme closeup of one red eye peering suspiciously in general direction of the camera]

[a long moment later, the image tilts wildly as he lets it fall carelessly to the ground]

Useless thing! What am I supposed to--

[/transmission cut]

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[ Don't mind Haru. He's just going to be sitting here staring.]

[after a long while the communicator gets snatched up again]

[red eye is back! say hi to red eye]

What is this -- some kind of TV? A computer?

[shake shake shake it's a good thing these are sturdy]

[CRAP EVERYTHING IS BLURRY FROM THE SHAKING IS IT A EARTH QUAKE?11]

Ah... kid this old man cannot take much more...

[that would be the icing on today's cake, wouldn't it]

[but no not an earthquake -- he stops shaking it]

Huh? Someone there?

Hey you! Who're you? Where am I?!

Just the old man of the box. [ He tilts his head ]

You are trapped in a scifi world.

[suspiciously] You don't look it.

--A sci-what? What's that supposed to be?

... You're working for Her Ugliness, aren'tcha.

I'm far too old to work anymore. Such a silly child..

[BRISTLE]

Don't call me a kid! Even if you do live in the box I'll find a way to get you for it!

... And I still wanna know where I am!

Harutopia.

[...]

WAIT A MINUTE! You just said a second ago it was called sci-something!

I said it was like scifi. Science fiction?

Science fiction... You mean like robots and all that stuff humans keep dreaming up?

[screws up his face at you] Why would I be there?

Pretty much.

[ Pauses for a moment] I have chosen you to be my new player.

... Huh?

Welcome to the game.

What game?! This doesn't look like most of the TV shows...

A game of life or death.

[...]

[there's a clatter as he throws the device]

Who are you? You from the Resistance?! Stop hiding in the box and come on out!

[ He blinks trying to realize what just happened. When he does he sort of laughs]

Wh-What?!

You're all talk, dammit. I told you to come out!

[here, communicator, have a kick, too]

such a spirited young man.

I said I'm not a kid!

[but you won't distract him from the real topic!]

[CLONK CLONK CLONK CLONK]

[... so now he's stomping on the communicator]

If you won't come out I'll just have to blow your house down!

I'm afraid you'll only hurt yourself this way, young one.

[Video]

[video b/c it hasn't switched]

[video; what the hell he's adorable]

[video; lol he's a massive derp is what he is]

[video; fff]

[forgot it was video gj self]

[ /patpat xD]

[video; sob]

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[video; oh god why is this guy so easy to troll |||OTL]

[video; Because Haru is the troll mastah]

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