ONE.

[failhound]

• AUDIO •

[--THUD]

[... after what sounds like the crashlanding of the century, there are a few loud bumps agains the mic; what sounds uncannily like a confused chicken; and finally everything unmuffles as whatever was on the communicator moves off]

O-Ow! What the hell was I-- Hey, what is this? This isn't the cellphone! Where's my freakin'--

[rattle rattle rattle smack]

[BANG BANG BANG BANG]

COUGH IT UP, YOU PIECE OF JUNK! I ACTUALLY NEED THAT THING SOMETIMES!

[...]

All right. Have it your way.

[an intake of breath]

HEY, UGLY! YOU DISGUSTING, HORRIBLE, NO-GOOD, BANANAS-FOR-BRAINS OLD HAG!!

[pant pant]

I BET THIS IS YOU AGAIN, ISN'T IT?! THE HELL DID YOU DO THIS TIME?!? I DON'T EVEN-- [a pause] ... THIS ISN'T THE DEMON WORLD!

[another pause] So... it's the human world, right? With their dumb sun and everything. But I was just there -- hey, ugly, you better explain! I don't know that many places in the human world, you know!

[...]

... Ugly? [BANG] Hey, is this thing even working? HEY--

[click!]

• VIDEO •

[have an extreme closeup of one red eye peering suspiciously in general direction of the camera]

[a long moment later, the image tilts wildly as he lets it fall carelessly to the ground]

Useless thing! What am I supposed to--

[/transmission cut]

Comments

[video]

[failhound.livejournal.com]

I can see color fine!

... 'Tch. I don't care, I'll just save up twice the beating for you!

[video]

[moarcowbell.livejournal.com]

Ah, I'm used to it.

[video]

[failhound.livejournal.com]

... What?

[video]

[moarcowbell.livejournal.com]

mm?

[video]

[failhound.livejournal.com]

We've never fought before. What are you talking about?

[video]

[moarcowbell.livejournal.com]

I meant I'm used to getting hit by angry people.

[video]

[failhound.livejournal.com]

Well... good! You won't go down too easy, huh?

[video]

[moarcowbell.livejournal.com]

Not that I'm aware of.

[video]

[failhound.livejournal.com]

We'll see about that.

[video]

[moarcowbell.livejournal.com]

You're pretty excitable.

Re: [video]

[failhound.livejournal.com]

You're pretty suspicious.

[HE STILL THINKS YOU MIGHT BE ONE OF HIS ENEMIES]

[video]

[moarcowbell.livejournal.com]

You can never trust an old man.

[video]

[failhound.livejournal.com]

I bet you're not even that old! I bet you're younger than me.

[video]

[moarcowbell.livejournal.com]

It's possible but not likely.

[video]

[failhound.livejournal.com]

It's more likely than you think!

[video]

[moarcowbell.livejournal.com]

Ah? Then please enlighten me.

[video]

[failhound.livejournal.com]

... You first!

[video]

[moarcowbell.livejournal.com]

Ah? I guess I turned eighteen today.

[video]

[failhound.livejournal.com]

...........

[video]

[moarcowbell.livejournal.com]

.....

[video]

[failhound.livejournal.com]

[...]

[...]

--EIGHTEEN ISN'T OLD!

[video]

[moarcowbell.livejournal.com]

It is quite old.

[video]

[failhound.livejournal.com]

YOU'RE ONLY TWO YEARS OLDER--

[oops]

... SHUT UP.

[video]

[moarcowbell.livejournal.com]

So you're 16?

[video]

[failhound.livejournal.com]

THAT DOESN'T MATTER.