failhound | ONE.

• AUDIO •

[--THUD]

[... after what sounds like the crashlanding of the century, there are a few loud bumps agains the mic; what sounds uncannily like a confused chicken; and finally everything unmuffles as whatever was on the communicator moves off]

O-Ow! What the hell was I-- Hey, what is this? This isn't the cellphone! Where's my freakin'--

[rattle rattle rattle smack]

[BANG BANG BANG BANG]

COUGH IT UP, YOU PIECE OF JUNK! I ACTUALLY NEED THAT THING SOMETIMES!

[...]

All right. Have it your way.

[an intake of breath]

HEY, UGLY! YOU DISGUSTING, HORRIBLE, NO-GOOD, BANANAS-FOR-BRAINS OLD HAG!!

[pant pant]

I BET THIS IS YOU AGAIN, ISN'T IT?! THE HELL DID YOU DO THIS TIME?!? I DON'T EVEN-- [a pause] ... THIS ISN'T THE DEMON WORLD!

[another pause] So... it's the human world, right? With their dumb sun and everything. But I was just there -- hey, ugly, you better explain! I don't know that many places in the human world, you know!

[...]

... Ugly? [BANG] Hey, is this thing even working? HEY--

[click!]

• VIDEO •

[have an extreme closeup of one red eye peering suspiciously in general direction of the camera]

[a long moment later, the image tilts wildly as he lets it fall carelessly to the ground]

Useless thing! What am I supposed to--

[/transmission cut]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

All right, then. At least it's easier to spell than Cerberus!

And my name is Anastasia.

'Tch.

You're from... Siberia, you said? What is that? Is it here?

Oh, I'm not from there (thank goodness, it's terribly cold there). But it is a part of the country that I'm from, which is Russia.

Russia...?

[WAT ARE HUMAN GEOGRAPHY]

Doesn't sound like here.

And here doesn't even sound like Earth. Apparently there are - what was it? - two moons in this world instead of just one!

Two moons? [...] Guess that rules out the human world, at least.

How many suns?

I think there's just one. But the clouds make it hard to tell.

[... well where he comes from you can't pick and choose your suns and moons]

Seems like there really is a third world.

But if it's not human or demon...

What's a third world?

[^ giving you this look]

... We've got two. It's the third one.

You said one is a human world and the other one is a demon world, didn't you? Then that makes this one … [ actually she has no idea ]

Yeah. Exactly. [clueless hi5]

ONE.

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